You've done the work.
The pattern is still there.
It's not because you didn't try hard enough.
Haven't done shadow work or anything like it before? You don't need to have. Something that keeps repeating is enough to start from, and newcomer or not, everyone here begins on the same ground.
A few questions to name the pattern underneath — a real read, in about three minutes. Free, and we don't keep your answers.
WORKING INLAND